Slowly and steadily, I am venturing farther and farther with my bicycle. I had never before cycled in city's heavily crowded main roads. Until recently I had only heard from others that riding on those two slim wheels is not the safest mode of transport. All those 'others' had done a good job in scaring me, which means I ventured out only in the odd non-peak hours and did not go beyond a few kilometers. But I kept going farther by the day and faced more aggressive drivers, and finally at times immersing myself in the big mean and noisy thing called peak hour traffic.
People who warned me of the dangers were very right. For some reason, every driver and rider who is gifted with the controls of an internal combustion engine seems to, miraculously, become blind to bicycles. When they turn left or right, or go in the wrong lanes or in the opposite direction in a one way as typical of us proud Bangaloreans, they somehow manage to see all those giant buses and trucks and even cars very clearly. And then they seem to get attracted to bicycles and at the same time don't get to see it, and end up trying hard to drive straight into the cyclist. That means the cyclist must start his ride with an attitude to be prepared to run or prepared to get banged. Most people choose the farmer option but still, fairly often we see riders who have ended up with the later.
The worst enemies of the cyclist are the cars and trucks parked illegally on the roads that have so lovingly planted 'no parking' signs. Time and again I come across them and am left with a difficult decision to move away from the comfort of the curb and to the center of the road. And moving to the center of the road often involves having to face the 'bicycle-blind' drivers in the heavy traffic. I have still been a chicken and often get down and then get into the footpath. But then how many of our roads have footpaths? The next big enemies are the two wheelers who just love riding on the extreme right side of the road, or in case of a double road, on the opposite side. There are so many such people, I have a feeling Bangalore has a cult of such riders. The third enemy is the cyclist himself, who I have seen, often jumps signals and cuts tersely into the center of the road oblivious to the fact that everyone else pretends to be blind to his presence. And soon after he cuts tersely, goes bang!
Five kilometers is as far away from home that I have ventured yet. I would love to sneak out farther early in the mornings but haven't done that so far. But then, cycling is love, and I know I will be spending more and more time with it. It has been such fun riding just for the sake of it. And it is keeping me from the guilt of burning fuel, and contributing to the already horrible traffic with my automobiles. Come, let's build cycling culture in this 'once-green' city; I am sure you will enjoy it.
Last few days have been about getting up early and cycling for a good 30 minutes. While in the process, I already seem to have discovered a few muscles that earlier did not seem to exist. Darwin's theory about unused organs tapering away from the body over a long period(what is that theory called?) has less chances on operating on my clan now! I am reminded of what Ruskin Bond writes in one of his stories: 'In a hundred years, people will be born without legs. Of course by then, we will be having flying wheelchairs'.
The plan has been to wake up at 6 and start moving by 6.15. That means I can at least wake up by 6.30 and start moving by 6.45am. You have heard the phrase 'some things never change' and waking up on time is one of those 'some things'. The main roads look generally calm at this hour, but for the BPO cabs that do not quite align themselves with the cycles of sun and earth. The software crowd starts trickling in around 7 and gigantic buses buzz threateningly close to me. They have a long journey to make, and starting any later would hold them up for hours. But then, the world is full of smart people - everyone is starting early and it is again coming to the same story.
I used to sit in one of those buses sometime ago, and probably whiz past threateningly close to other cyclists. I see the same old expression of boredom on the faces of people heading to work. Reminds me all those attempts to make the mornings cheerful and not being all that successful with it. I encounter my once office bus at 7.15 and peer into it for familiar faces. All windows are closed and I can't see people inside well enough. I stop for a coffee around 7.30, and realize I have been having so much coffee lately that I don't enjoy it any more. I take a badaami haalu instead. It is 7.45 when I return home. All those once undiscovered muscles are now screaming of their existence!
* you don't have to worry about traffic jams in the city * you get to decide when to wake up, when to eat and when to go to bed, with no obligations to keep up with time * you can travel as you please, where you please, when you please * you can finally find time to take out the guitar and re-start learning * you can take out Spanish notes and re-start learning * you have sufficient time to go out on weekdays, if you feel like * you have sufficient time to travel-blog everyday, and sufficient dough to fill it with. * you are contended, and really feel that you don't really a great deal more in life than what you already have.
I have now set a new world record! And never really expected that it would happen. It has been three months since I have started learning guitar, and I haven't given up yet. Yes, three months is a real long time for me when it comes to sticking to something.
There is another kind of record that I have carefully hidden from rest of the world. The secret is becoming harder to keep within me and longing to come out, so I might as well share it. It is about the keyboard classes a few years back. I enrolled for weekend classes, went to first class, and was all excited about it. Next weekend I was out of town. The weekend after that I wasn't well and was again out of town the weekend after that. After that I felt too ashamed to get back to the class and show my face, and found solace in hiding myself from the teacher and then hiding the keyboard from me! I even gave away the keyboard to a friend, lest its memory would haunt me!
A slightly better performance was with the Spanish classes. I was all enthu about learning Espanol and proudly declared to my teacher in my first class - "I would like to learn Spanish, so I can travel to Latin America". She was impressed. But the impression did not last long when I started missing classes. Two months is as long I went to the class, and to be honest, I am surprised that I lasted that long!
Now, my guitar class thing had a few advantages. First, the classes happen right behind my house, and there is some level of flexibility with timings. That wasn't really enough, what worked is the persistence of the guy who conducts the classes. Each time I am missing in the class, he would call me to remind. I would politely say I can't make it due to a million excuses, and he would call me back again for the next class with the persistence of a monitor lizard. So after missing classes for a month, I gave in again and started going back.
I have been more regular now, and there is some confidence that I can really make it through this one. Wish me!
As I go out for a walk, I look at the weather and feel good about the overcast sky that is keeping the day pleasant. I look around and think of the few trees that have managed to hold on to their life in the concrete jungle, and admire them and the people who planted them. I feel grateful and happy, but not for long. A cabby honks and drives past me at a speed unreasonable for the small road we are in, and I get irritated. I instantly recall of some insecure cabbies I see on the road, who have the practice of habitual honking every few seconds even on the empty roads. They used to make me go crazy once but I smile at them now and pass them as silly folks. The whole thought process now expands to Bangalore's fast growing traffic that has increased the commute time to twice what it was a few years ago. There is no reaction in the mind for this one, it has become a thought too common and gets ignored. It is no more than a few seconds before I move on to a much larger picture of Bangalore's fast, unplanned growth and all things sundry. All of it was broken by pretty girl who walks past me from the opposite direction, and there is an attempt to assign her with a prettiness quotient! I am now walking on a nicely laid footpath with no loose stones or any such surprises, and I begin to feel grateful all over again. The process continues, forming a chain of unrelated things..
No wonder they said it is all in your mind - happiness, sadness, joy, sorrow, call it what you wish. And we ofcourse continue identifying these emotions with external stimulus.
* Watching the clouds take over the skies, blocking the harsh sun, and suddenly the light is mild and the weather is pleasant * The gentle cool breeze that precedes the rains, kissing the face and reminding of the impending rain * The first drops falling on the body, just enough to make you feel the rain, and make you feel like the person that is rain itself! * Realizing the intensity of the falling drops, trying to run for the nearest shelter, and finding one only after getting completely drenched! * Slipping the feet into the small, clean and freshly formed puddles * Sitting somewhere deep in the forest, watching a stream gushing down with renewed vigor supported by small and narrow streams forming out of nowhere and hurrying down the slopes * Remembering the days of sailing down the stream with a paper boat * Watching the smiles of the little school girl in her rain coat and umbrella on the way to the school, braving the torrent * Looking for an isolated place on the road with a puddle and driving over it in full speed, watching the fountain of water rushing out all over the place * rainbow! * Holding an umbrella against the rush of water down the roof and listen to the sudden noise under the umbrella * Getting into the swimming pool in April showers * Listen to the lingering tup.. tup.. sounds long after the rains are gone * Bright sun shining over the green and wet earth and the cool air after the rains
A few days back, out of the blue I thought I will live without cell-phone for a few days, and switched it off immediately. Thinking about it, I don't think I had any purpose defined for it. It is not like I am a much-wanted socialite who gets a call every other second and wanted to escape from it. And I was no Mr. Helpful whom people would keep calling for favours either. But somehow I did feel irritated about the phone and decided shut it up at that moment. Hopefully, I will let it stay shut another 3-4 days.
It has been 4 days already and I haven't really had any problems at all. Yes, I could not make a few calls when I wished to and a few people who tried to call me would have heard a switched-off message, but missing those things hasn't really made any major difference.
In these four days, there are other basic features with the phone that I have missed though. The phone doubled up as a watch and I now don't even have a means to see time! On Sunday night, I realized I have no easy way to wake up next morning on time, since I did not have another alarm clock. Today I missed the phone when I wanted to listen to the radio on my hour-long commute to work. And occasionally I wished to play chess puzzles but did not have the phone around.
But there are some good things too. I now no longer have to feel that mild pressure to answer my calls even if I did not want to. And when I am not in my seat at office, people can't call me up now on the slightest excuse. There are times when I expected a call, message or some information and would not like it when it doesn't happen, but now I had no calls to expect!
All said, it still matters that I did not switch off the phone because it was becoming a pain. It was just one of the many things I would do without a reason to backup the action. I will most likely be back online in next few days.
Yesterday evening was a time for house cleaning. And this was not something I am used to doing in the last few years.
It is my maid's fault in the first place - she has gone on a 10-day vacation. I think she might have got infected with taking-a-vacation disease from me. She would have observed my staying away from work for long days and might have thought she must do it. Well, she decided, informed, and took off!
And from the day she stopped working, my abode started degenerating. No work got done on the first day of her absence and yet, things looked fine just as they always did. But a couple of days passed, and everything was in a mess. I tried to do a little bit of work here and there, now and then everyday to make sure that the house did not look like a garbage bin, but it was simply not good enough.
I came home yesterday evening with a determination to set things right. I started with the pile of vessels to clean first. By the time it was done three-fourth, I had had enough of it and decided to leave the remaining few in the sink, and come back later. In the process of cleaning the vessels, plenty of water had spilled on kitchen floor, part of it soapy with dish cleaning bar. I looked around a bit and saw plenty of grime accumulated around the stove in last few days. All of them needed immediate attention and I started working on them next.
That took another long cleaning session and I was beginning to feel I had enough of this work too, but managed to finish the task. By this time I was beginning to feel like quitting, hardly having done much work. Next, it was time for the clothes. I stood in front of the pile of clothes that begged for attention, and had a good look at the small mountain. After thinking hard on it for a few minutes, I finally separated a small portion of the mountain to work on for the day! Another 30 minutes gone and when I was done, I was not up for any more work.
I took a walk around the house, had a look at the remaining vessels in the kitchen, noticed the dust bin content level raising higher than normal and felt the slow gathering of dust on the floor. Would I step out of the house, I knew there was my car screaming at me for leaving several kilograms of dust from all over the city on it!
Looking at the state of things, I immediately knew what to do next - I turned on the comp, started off with a game of packman and got into playing it blissfully, leaving all the worries for the next day! Now I have emerged wiser and back to doing what I did before - taking care of only things that need immediate attention, and also waiting for the maid to return from her vacation! And play packman of course!
Shruthi's post on comfort food got me thinking a little about the food I would rather not miss for many days.
I am generally open to any kind of food. I don't mind trying or living on alien food for a long time. In fact I love trying and tasting new stuff. In the days I have been away from home, I have never worried much about what I am getting to eat and have lived with what is available. The longest I have lived with completely alien food was probably for only two weeks. I spent fifteen days in Alaska having to live primarily on Mexican food(Tex-Mex), and was pretty delighted about tasting their delicacies. Even though I have been away from home for longer periods, I was not alienated completely from my regular food.
But when I was travelling in North India last year for a month, my weakness for food surfaced. I could manage pretty well with whatever is available for lunch and dinner, but I craved for regular breakfast every morning. That's how I realized it is hard for me to live without the usual Idli, Dosa, Uppittu and such southern delicacies.
I hate having to eat steamed rice or its derivatives(Pulao, Fried Rice,..) in the morning and would rather stay empty stomach instead. I am not so fond of Rotis of any kind either. South Indian food was not available in some areas where I was travelling. That put my with little else to eat in the morning, except Parathas. I like Aloo Parathas and enjoy eating them, but despite that my system was not very willing to accept them in the mornings. I guess it had to be the stuff I am used to eating everyday - Dosas, Idlis, etc.
I am a lazy person and I often say that to people I know. It is an excuse I use for getting away from something I don't like to do. It is not exactly the best excuse but serves the purpose when I can't think of anything better!
And laziness shows up in me first thing in the morning. Waking up is probably one of the biggest challenges I face in life. And it doesn't look any good when you have to do it again and again, day after day, without fail! Each night when I go to sleep, I decide to get rid of this habit of getting up late. Ambitious that I am, I set the alarm to 5am, no later! But the idea would not be to get up at 5 am, but at least to pull myself out of the bed by 7. The alarm starts ringing at 5am and when I don't turn it off, goes off to snooze and shouts again after 10 minutes. In the first 30 minutes since it starts, I would not even have heard the alarm and still be in sleep and then move to a half asleep mode where I still ignore the alarm. Finally when I wake up, it will be as late as 7.30am.
You might think that 7.30 is not late at all, but a reasonable time to wake up. At least that's what I feel. But the trouble is, my office bus comes to my bus stop at an un-earthly time of 7am to pick me up! Chances are I make it only once, or at the max twice a week. In the days I make it to the bus stop at time, the conversation with my colleagues at the stop goes usually goes like this.
Colleague 1: Hey long time no see! What's happening?
I mumble a good morning, cheer myself up with a wide smile and respond to him.
Colleague 2 walks in: Hey! Surprised to see you! What brings you here so early today?
Me: You see, it's been a long time since I saw you guys. I just wanted to meet you guys and say hello!
We all have a good laugh at the end of this standard conversation and then move on to chat about all other things in the world.
But sometimes I wonder if this drama is just because I am lazy or there or other reasons. May be I am just unwilling to pass another day hurrying to work, making my due contribution to the rat race and return home at the end of the day. May be my mind tries to postpone the beginning of my 'ordinary' days.
To prove that, I never get late or complain about waking up in the weekends. If I am going birding early morning or heading for a photography session, I am never late to wake up and never late to reach the place. Even when I am out somewhere travelling, I take every trouble to ensure that I wake up early to feel the new day in the new place and immensely enjoy it.
So, may be I am not lazy after all. But I would rather keep calling me so, just to escape myself from all things I would rather not do!
I jumped with excitement when I was checking my emails a couple of days ago. It was an email with an invitation to travel, all expense paid. It was an invite to spend a month in Eaglenest National Park, Arunachal Pradesh, working on some research activity related to a newly found bird species.
I was jumpy alright, but got into thinking mode in the next minute. It is an invite irrestible, but I wondered how I would manage time out for a month to be there. Such are the times when I get on thinking-too-much mode and feel that I should quit my full-time 9-6 job. Would I make a list of things that I would want to do but never get done because I am constrained to be at work, it would run like a long list whose tail would be somewhere miles away. There is a always a temptation to quit, but the worldly matters and a need to sustain hold me back and tie me up with a thick rope.
It is then that I start dreaming. I start dreaming about the day I would find a way to live with a means other than my full time job. And the time that I would find then would be used for things like the bird research project in Arunachal. And then there is an idea of spending a useful year or two living in the corners of Uttaranchal Himalayas and Corbett, and spend another year or two in the regions of Himachal and Ladakh. Ofcourse there are other places in mind where I would want to be for a long long time, like wandering our own forests in the Sahyadris. I can't go on because each time I visit a place of immesurable beauty, I would like to be there!
And then there is the idea of spending time being useful to the soceity, learning some fine arts and music that can be my companion forever, read all the great books that I have always wanted to read, make best photographs.. I can go on.
All said, these are dreams and I know that I will realize at least some of them in the years to come. A few years ago, I would have been depressed thinking about these and sink with a feeling that I have been upto nothing I would like to. But now, I am happy no matter what I am doing and no matter what I am upto. I have come to understand that being happy is about living the life we have while we strive to achieve what we want. Everything would have been dry without dreams, but living with dreams alone does nothing good either. And happiness comes when there is a balance in dreams and realities.
PS: When I started writing this, all I wanted to write is about the bird project in Arunchal. I had no idea it would shape up this way!
