Just wake up and see what is in life? It is nothing. What do you do? You take a paid job, you earn money all day, come home, spend money on weekends. That’s it. And have fights, love, then fight again, and then you die. Life is finished. And you don’t even get bored, because it is so boring. You don’t even realize it is so boring, because you haven’t seen anything better. If there is anything better and that is all you see, that is what you will do. There is nothing better in life to do, no goal, nothing.
* Thankfully, a likely stable government. * Are the rainy days about to begin? I can smell them. * Very melancholic days. Bad time doesn't just come, it floods you from every possible corner. * Waking up early without much effort these days. Surprising myself! But then, sleeping early too. * So many things to do, so little time. * Mango season hasn't used well. So far.
Waking up in the morning dull and dejected. Happens on a few mornings for no reasons. And happens many times if I doze off for long hours in the afternoon. It is some sort of feeling like being scared of missing the bus, or feeling terrible having missed the bus.
There is one reason why I would like to see Mayawati in the prime minister's seat: we can then stop hoping. We can stop expecting that things will get better some day and we would see a better India. It will be a good time to pack up and apply for an immigrant visa in some developed country. Or even a developing country where weather is nice. Or any country where people are nice. Canada? New Zealand? Brazil? Cambodia?
* The car, which was gathering many inches of dust and tyres nearly drowned in mud is finally ready for use! Been a while since I was behind the wheel.
* A burst of rain and hail in the evening. Pleasure. Why is it that it rains in Bangalore only in the evenings? Any one from Met Department reading this?
* Some work is getting done. Some, not a lot. What I need to do is a lot more than a lot.
I looked at the cover of 'Outlook Business' while I was at the grocery store, and decided to pick it up. It has a compilation of stories about twelve people who achieved something in an unfavourable environment. The list includes KP Singh, Subhash Goel, Capt. Gopinath, V Krishnamurthy(who lead Maruti's car project), Sam Pitroda, Vijay Bhatkar(who lead C-DAC in designing India's first supercomputer) among the twelve. Some of them started their projects from scratch and made everyone turn heads. The story about each of these men tries to describe in a few pages, the values and ideas that drove them, and how they achieved their goal. Makes an interesting read, and learning.
I particularly liked one thing that Capt. Gopinath said: "We all have our own magnetic needle, and we should overcome doubt to follow it".
Mom came for a visit this morning, after a long journey through the night. She was sleepy after the tiring, sleepless journey. So I chose to take the honour of making breakfast. It had to be Uppittu - every man's favoured quick fix. And it is something I have mastered over years and confidant about not screwing up.
Halfway through the cooking session, I realized I forgot to buy lemons at the grocery shopping yesterday. Ok, lemon is not a vital ingredient for Uppittu, I told myself and continued. But it bothered me.
A minute later, I heard the sound of refrigerator door opening and closing. And mom calls out, do you want lemons? She had brought lemons with her!
Why is there so much of a fuss against the big league industrialists proposing a name for the prime minister's job? People are talking about big guys sidelining one billion people. But Mittal and Ambani are also one of the one billion people and are free to pitch whoever they think are the right people. Yes, true, they have a bigger voice. But that doesn't mean they should keep their lips tight. They can propose someone freely, just the way you are I would talk about our preferences for the prime minister.
So here I go. I would not like to see Modi up there in chief's chair. He might bring in progress yes, but an autocratic man in top position can also cause damages. I can't think of a right prime ministerial candidate. LK Advani doesn't win my favours either. I have always felt he is one of the people genuinely concerned for the nation, but I doubt if he is competent enough. Right now, I can't think of anyone who can fit the bill. Time to wait and watch.
2008 was a happy happy sort of year when I lived life careless, or simply said, freaked out. It was a breezy year full of nice nice things, mostly. I could take life for granted and live it as it comes. It is probably not because I was very composed, but because life was predictable. I usually knew that every tomorrow is likely to be as good a day as today. The whole year, from the very first day, till the very last day, lasted happily. The new year has begun with a sense of loss. The assured days will no longer be. Sometimes it feels like being carried to a cold and windy place and then being left along there; like walking on the banks of a beautiful river, and suddenly slipping into the cold water. I wish the days stayed like the last year.
But it is not very bad either. I could see these days coming, and spent some time preparing for them. Instead of spending time chilled and easy as I did for the whole year, I am organizing self to do more work, be methodical and spend time constructively than before, which hopefully fills up the losses. To some extent. Hopefully. Right now, I have managed to stay cheerful. I expect me to remain so in the coming days.
So the last two weeks have been spent trying to discipline myself. I wake up earlier than I did, go for a jog regularly, do more work than I did and have been meditating more regularly than before. May be somethings happen just to keep you on your toes, and might eventually turn good.
