When this blog completed its six years, it was a big time news everywhere. It made into the headlines and television companies spent bulk of their time reading lines from this blog, and newspapers spent bulk of their spaces printing extracts. On the big day, they sent their their pack of sixteen year old journos to interview the celebrated blogger behing the blog. Sixteen year olds because, all the eighteen year olds were running behind Sanjay Dutts and Salman Khans and it was the turn of seventeen year olds to attend college to give proxy to the eighteen year olds.
I refused to talk to sixteen year olds as a matter of my esteemed status, but the tv companies said that other than the 16 year olds, Karan Thapar is the only guy who is free right now, and they can send him instead. Thapar, I hear, is having a tough time finding people willing to be interviewed for the full lenght of the program and is so sitting idle. I somehow suddenly found comfort with sixteen year olds! I faced them all in a press conference in the comfort of a seven star hotel.
While I was arriving at the hotel in my black limo, the sixteen year olds were already waiting for me and plunged into me. I barely survived, thanks to my bodyguards. Finally at the press conference -
Sixteen Year Olds: Sir, your blog has completed six years. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
Me: [Throwing my hands in the air, beaming widely, trying to find where is what through my dark sunglasses in dimly lit room full of dimwits] It's been awesome folks.. You guys rock! Let's get this going!
SYOs: Sir, any highlights and achievements you want to mention in these six years? Me: Yes yes, I completed six years
SYOs: Err.. I mean, any thing important that happened to you or your blog in these six years. Me: Yes.. yes.. you heard me. Isn't it a great achievemnt? I completed six years. Its awesome folks!
SYOs: [not sure where to go next] Any other important achievements sir? Anything other than that? Me: Please don't insult me. I completed six years. Please celebrate that. You have dinner and drinks arranged for you, all at my expense.
SYOs: What are your future plans for the blog sir? Me: I have plenty of plans for this blog. It has a great future. A year down the line, I intend to complete seven years of blogging and eight years further on.. I will then hire an exotic island for the press meet. Its going to get better and better.
SYOs: Sir, do you plan to enter politics? Me: Hmm.. not really. I don't like politics and power play. I prefer to stay away from all this and write letters.. no, not letters, blog posts. Great Devegowda, who was never greedy for power is a role model for me. I strive for the poor of this country and I do this striving thing with my brothers, sisters, children, parents and other members of my family.
SYOs: How did it all start? Me: It was easy. One fine day I was sitting in a dark room, lonely and bored. I was feeling unhappy seeing all happy people. No one cared for me. I tried to get life, without success, because I did not know how to get it. I remained unhappy, and then I got angry about all the happy people. I wanted to make all happy people become unhappy like me. I wanted to bore them to death and torture their minds with things that they would not want to know or care. Then the idea of blogging flashed! That was how I could find readers for me whom I could torture with ease and make then unhappy. You know rest of the story.. don't you? You know, no?
SYOs: Sir, we are overwhelmed by your vision. Any message for our viewers? Me: Yes, yes.. Today's generation should take up blogging.. you should all complete six years like me, and then seven years and so on. This is the only way to bridge the digital divide. Let's have some food now.. Those of you who are minors, be careful with the drinks.. Thank you, thank you.