It has been a question that is eating my head for some time. Rather, long time. Why do I go to work every morning without fail? Why do I do lot other things that I do not really fancy? Why do I sometimes live for others? Why don't I just go ahead and decide: hey, this is what I want to be doing in my life. Why not shed all that I have been todate and start living the way I want.
Like always, this introspection reinitiates the conflict between the realities and dreams. I speak to myself in consolation- this is how we have to live and go along with the world. You will have to wait for an opportunity to come your way and grab it when you set on it. And don't jump into a deep pool and loose whatever solid ground you have. Yes, I need to work everyday to earn my dough. I have to do my part to retain whatever position I have in my soceity. I have to be answerable to everyone who cares for me. And then meet my contractual obligations in life of my workspace.
But what about my dreams? What about my ambitions, to be free, to find my dream companion, to go round the world, to explore the unknown and live for just that? I feel like breaking away. It is a spaghetti of thoughts that never see light. But I strive. I bring it up to me again. The only option seems to be living with the world and take the beaten path, make compromises. After all, I need capital. Whether to survice, to associate, to reach the top of the Himalayas or to explore the Amazonia, to discover the secrets of the nature or to fly away in the sky; it can only be achieved by being a part of the world. There seem to be no choice. But My heart says there is. It tells me to run, break free. But my mind to holds me. It barricades my spirit. I am trying to break the barrier. One day....
....I will succeed. One day.
